We’ve all seen that quote ‘too young to settle down, too old to play around’. Well that’s me right now. I’m 21, 22 in a few months (April 21st if you want to send me gifts) and I’m not here for wishy-washy. Whether that be in regards to relationships, career, or spirituality.
I am a Christian and in church when I was growing up I’d hear ‘God doesn’t like lukewarm’. Last year quote became reality. You have to either be hot or cold. I was stuck in a place with a person who was lukewarm with me, and I accepted it because I felt that I’d rather have lukewarm than nothing at all. But I realised this was hindering me from moving on. I wasn’t anyone’s girlfriend but I also wasn’t able to date or talk to other guys (you know the deal). It was only until I took the stance of God that I felt real freedom.
But demanding that people be consistent with you is often only applied to romantic relationships. I think it is vital that your friends and your family are given that ultimatum too. We have a long life, God willing, but who has time to lay awake at night in bed wondering if people really are there for you the way they claim to be? Not me! I need as much beauty sleep as possible! You need to know where you stand with people and make sure the foundations are not shaky.
Last year I was supposed to graduate, but because of a bunch of stuff - that I will reveal when we get better aquatinted, I didn’t. This was a real struggle for me because I literally did education as you are 'expected' no gap years, no resits. But an even bigger struggle was my university experience. I absolutely hated it, from the people, to the area, to the course you name it I could no stand it. And instead of me listening to myself at the end of my first year, I decided to carry on for two more years, going to 10% of lectures; handing in half-arsed work; and revising an hour before exams. I stayed lukewarm for over two years. I hurt myself because I wasn’t ready to commit to either option of studying at university or leaving and pursuing singing and songwriting.
Now I’m here January 2016 getting my arse into gear, I feel so free and a lot more happier! I decided last summer that I will complete my degree, because who is wasting so much money not to get that certificate at the end of it? But I decided that if I am doing it, I will do with 100% vim. I owe it to myself to be fully committed to whatever I put my time into.
Finally, self. It is imperative that you, yourself, you do not straddle fences in all aspects of your life. Sure, there are risks - but, you need to get over that. Create contingency plans, protect yourself but don’t then use that to say you are going to be tepid. You cannot demand that people should not be lukewarm with you if you wouldn’t want to have a shower with yourself (do you get what I did there? Basically, who really showers with lukewarm water? No one. So I was cute, and made you the water :).
But on a serious note, just be a reflection of what you expect.